You Can't Spell "dickhead" Without "a-i-d", Dept.

Federal Official Resigns in Inquiry of Escort Service - New York Times

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time!
Don't plunge the gorge if your paycheck's from George!
Don't pay for snatch on ol' Condi's watch!
Don't hire call girls to stuff their panties in your mouth, bind you with handcuffs, and ream your butt with a greased burpless cucumber if you're a highly-paid, highly-visible member of a right-wing administration who comes to his exalted position in the foreign affairs policy-making hierarchy not by dint of qualification through experience and knowledge but, instead, as a function of the thousands upon thousands of dollars you've funnelled into the party coffers!

Yeah, not as catchy but perhaps more on point.

Randall L. Tobias, now-former head of USAID and now-former Ambassador head of United States Foreign Assistance.

Poor Randy. Randy Randy.
He learned Lesson Number One of Choc City scandals.
You can lie. You can cheat. You can steal. You can break the law. You can lie about lying, cheating, stealing, and breaking the law. You can fuck up and cost tens of thousands of Americans their homes and property. You can ignore reality and cost thousands of Americans their very lives.
But you can't be caught getting your winkie tickled by hookers.

That would betray a lack of character on your part, don'tcha know.