Sky Blue, Grass Green, Imus Asshole, Dept.

Rutgers team to weigh in on Imus storm - Yahoo! News

You didn't ask but, irrespective of your cruel apathy, I'm informing you: I am now officially up to here (you can't see it but my right hand is indicating a point just above the squama frontalis portion of my frontal bone) with the fucking scandale d'Imus.

Let's see...Don Imus...pioneered the "shock jock" concept...has previously insulted and demeaned blacks, gays, Arabs, Christians, and Hillary Clinton...his entire act is built along the lines of "outrageous" behavior...mm-hmm...and now he's called the Rutgers women's basketball team "nappy-headed ho's"...

WHAT?! HE SAID THAT?!? HOLY SWEET FUCKING JESUS!!! THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED AND UTTERLY BEYOND THE PALE!!! A SHOCK JOCK REFERRING TO MINORITY WOMEN IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN THE MOST RESPECTFUL TERMS?!?! HOW COULD THIS POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN COUNTENANCED BY THE MEDIA COMPANIES THAT ENJOY BLUE-CHIP ADVERTISING FEES DURING HIS AIRTIME OF $1,500 PER THOUSAND LISTENERS?!?!

Yeah. Me love outrage when it comes from whores.

And from what passes for the public guardians of Black America. I mean, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson? I'm sorry, I should say, the Most Reverends Al "I will appear in anything, anytime, anywhere, be it movie, sitcom, public access advertising, supermarket ribbon-cutting so long as you gots the cash moe-nay" Sharpton and Jesse "did you know the late Dr. King and I were this close? yes, and I coined the term 'Hymietown' in honor of his quest for universal freedom and equality" Jackson. I mean, there's no reason Blacks should have any better luck than Whites when it comes to drawing unappointed spokesmen but...really? Are these two honestly the most credible spokesmen for Black America on the current scene? I mean, damn. Throw in Marion Barry and score the whole thing to the waah-waah-wah of "Three Blind Mice" that opened the Three Stooges' Columbia two-reelers. I mean, does anyone, that's "anyoneanyone" care even a little what Jesse and Al have to say about anything? I'm frankly stunned that Imus appeared on Sharpton's show all contrite. A less-likely Canossa I don't think you'd find. I'm also amazed that CBS and MSNBC--two of the paler networks in existence--give even two smallish rat's arses. What're they afraid will happen, Imus' massive African-American audience will desert him for Howard Stern?

I myself don't find Imus (or Stern or Opie'n'Anthony or...) particularly funny. I used to. When I was a sophomore in high school. I used to love Imus' "Billy Sol Hargis" bits. As a sophomore. In high school. But he occupies a niche in the entertainment ecosystem and he can feed to his heart's content. I find him considerably less threatening than the tightiewhiteyrighty commentators who actually and inexplicably command political power and public respect (and here I'm looking at the bloated, besotted, and bemerded spittle-beast that occupies a fat stretch of AM radio). And I find him considerably less annoying than the Jacks-in-the-box who spring up unbidden to waggle their bejewelled fingers at Michael Richards or Don Imus or whichever other asshole is employing his right to protected artistic speech, said reflexive Jack-in-the-boxing thereby gunning the media machine's engine to rev'n'whine. Or maybe it's just Jesse and Al who should go by the formal title "Rev. N'Whine".

At any rate, Don Imus said something "outrageous". And in our top story, a dog bit a man after being repeatedly provoked. Let's go to our correspondent on the scene, Adaora Udoji. Adaora?