Monday, December 03, 2007

Straight as a Boomerang, Dept.

More gay men describe sexual encounters with U.S. Sen. Craig | Eyepiece | Idaho Statesman

Alright, people, do you want to know just how kick-ass-hetero Senator Larry Craig is? He can make sweet, sweet manlove with multiple partners and still be as straight as the road between here and Perdition.

Four gay men, including Ted Haggard cock-merchant Mike Jones, have consented to have their names made public in connection with detailed allegations regarding their sexual encounters or flirtations with Der Über-Hetero. A fifth recounts his encounter under the cloak of anonymity.

It should go without saying that Senator Larry finds these claims infra dig.

The linked article from the Idaho Statesman provides spicy!spicy! details and audio of each man's testimony, and thus is essential reading and listening for these chilly December days.

Because your sobsister is so very nice to you, I've transcribed one of the audio segments: David Phillips' account of some alleged back-door shenanigans with Senator Larry. Sounds like the Senator doesn't go in for much in the way of post-coital cuddling:

He left the room for a moment and came back with condoms and some lotion or something to use as lubricant that he wanted for me to offer him anal sex, for me to receive him. And I did and he again commented, "Just remember, you don't know me." And it was getting really uncomfortable for me and the graphic detail about what occurred during the anal sex and that the mess that was created during the sex he was absolutely frantic about it and didn't want me going in the bathroom to clean myself up. He just wanted me to get my clothes back on and leave. And I had just never been treated that way by a man before. And he led me back down the stairs. Whereas going up to have sex he seemed halfway attentive, touching me, stroking my face, even though he was constantly telling me, "You don't know me. You haven't been here.", he was halfway attentive. After the sex, he just wanted to get me out of there.

What, no bus fare on top of the dresser? Sounds like Senator Larry might need to re-take Anonymous Quickie Fucks 101.

Only time will tell if any of these allegations is true. Until then, we can only marvel at the dignified restraint shown by the Senate's Leading Heterosexual™ in not lowering himself to rebut these very detailed allegations.

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