Math Is Hard!, Dept.

The Raw Story | White House press secretary admits she didn't know what Cuban Missile Crisis was

Now, this is the sort of Internet pile-on of which your sobsister heartily disapproves.

Dana Perino, the peroxided press secretary for the White House, admitted on radio this weekend that she didn't know what the Cuban Missile Crisis was. Faster than you can say "Ann Coulter", bloggers and commentators and other online rabble were holding her up for public scorn and ridicule as an ignorant cow who would better serve the public as a speed bump.

To them I say: pray, desist! While one might hope that the spokesperson for the most powerful office in the Western Hemisphere, if not the world, would possess at a minimum the knowledge corresponding to that ensured by a fairly-earned equivalency certificate, it simply is not necessary for the successful completion of her sole job requirement: looking icy blonde while she punts any and all questions that would shed even a pinprick of light into the rank and tenebrous swamp that is the Bush Administration.

That Ms. Perino would be unaware of the specifics of the Cuban Missile Crisis can be attributable to her tender age. At 35, she is about ten years too young even to have been born at the time of that historic event. As a consequence, she cannot be expected to have any in-depth knowledge about its origins, development, or consequences.

Ms. Perino, in subsequent interviews, has also revealed that she does not know who is buried in Grant's Tomb, which is bigger: the moon or a MoonPie, where babies come from, how they can milk a cow into those tiny little cartons, where everyone goes when you sneeze, and why it's a bad idea to poke oneself in the eye with a stick.