That Darn Ted!, Dept.

Feds Eye Money Used for Wildlife Center - washingtonpost.com:

"Feds Eye Money Used for Wildlife Center

Justice Department officials investigating Sen. Ted Stevens are examining whether federal funds he steered to an Alaska wildlife research center may have enriched a former aide, say officials familiar with the probe....The SeaLife Center probe is in addition to an investigation by federal grand juries here and in Alaska into Stevens' ties to an oil company executive convicted of bribing Alaska state legislators."

Oh, Ted. Poor Ted. Mama's Hung You in the Closet and I'm Feeling So Sed.

That the integrity, probity, and honesty of this most Eminent Republican are being questioned makes me to quiver avec l'indignité. That the man who made the inner workings of the Internet comprehensible to so many Senile-Americans should be forced to submit to such outrages as having to explain why the bills for the massive renovation and expansion of his Alaska home went first to an oil industry contractor...why, my blood fairly boils!

But justice will out, of that I have no doubt. And soon enough, the addled and sclerotic Mr. Wilson of the Senate will be back shaking his fist angrily at the pesky Dennises of that chamber.

'Cause one generally doesn't leave the Senate unless flat and feet-first. They are as gods, these men, and not subject to the trifling moralities of the lesser sorts.

Capeesh? Good. Now, go get Senator Stevens another crude oil Cosmo, extra money,.