America's English Rose...or something, Dept.
Bush's daughter, Jenna, engaged - Yahoo! News
Just as our nation's collective heart was on the verge of being irremediably broken by the unanticipated departure of Karl "I skullfucked my grandmother to win Ohio" Rove, it is just as suddenly soothed by the healing balm of a First Daughter engagement!
Oh, how deliriously happy for the First Family! Little Jenna, whom we first met as a precocious problem drinker, has found true love! Think of how proud and happy the First Lady must be, just as any woman, any mother would be: to carry a daughter, along with her slim'n'waspish twin, to term, to bear her, feed her, raise her, teach her, comfort her when Life deals her nasty cuffs, all in preparation for the happy, happy day when she tells her mother she's going to link her life and destiny to those of of a generic party apparatchik. Is that not every mother's dream?!
Let us raise a glass of near-beer, then, to Jenna Bush and whatever the fuck his name is. May their marriage be joyful, their issue plentiful. And let us hope that more similarly-distracting news spills forth from the Bush White House in the upcoming weeks and months. For it didn't matter what tunes the band played on the Titanic, so long as they kept on playing.