Once Again Aboard the True Love, Dept.

Is Pamela Anderson ready to marry again? - Yahoo! News

Sometimes your sobsister thinks about these glamour girls from Hollywood and how they only circulate among other movie stars and billionaires and cosmetic surgeons and, as a consequence, marry rich'n'famous guys instead of lovable but cash-strapped jamokes. Except in meet-cute romantic comedies. But those are less realistic than Lord of the Rings and The Incredibles combined.

At any rate, this trend of Hollywood bombshell marrying within her own weight class continued with the successful application for a Las Vegas marriage license this weekend by Pamela "do they look real?" Anderson. Pammy's already been down the aisle with two gents to whose levels of class and couth we mere mortals can only aspire: Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. Having learned valuable lessons from these two sadly-failed unions, the 40-year-old Pam is ready for a new, more mature relationship. And so she has decided to link her life with that of Rick Salomon. Who?, you may be asking. C'mon...you know "Rick Salomon". No? Let me jog your memory. The Rick Salomon with whose erect cock tens of millions of downloaders became familiar from such films as "I'm Fucking My Half-bombed, Semi-retarded Girlfriend, Paris Hilton, in a Variety of Positions While I Videotape the Proceedings with a Low-Light Camera." Oh, that Rick Salomon! Right. So, you know Pammy had to kiss a lot of frogs before she found this Prince Charming. I myself don't know what Mr. Salomon does for a living. But I do know he was once married to volatile substance and former TV star Shannon Doherty. So, I assume his business and personal lives both involve purchasing wrecks and selling them for salvage. Like those guys who tack signs to telephone poles offering to buy and tow your old heap for a hundred bucks.

So, here's to a long and loving marriage for Pam and Rick, two krazy kids who'll prove the pundits wrong, if I'm any judge of horseflesh. I mean, gawrsh, ain't love grand?