The Life of O'Reilly, Dept.

ABC News: O'Reilly: Blacks Surprisingly Civilized

The scales have fallen from Bill O'Reilly's eyes. He went to Sylvia's, a Black-run restaurant in Harlem, and, would'ja believe it?, it was just like any other restaurant in New York City! Let's listen to Bill explain it:

"[It] was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all...There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who [was] screaming, 'M-F'er, I want more iced tea!'"

Hot damn but those darkies'll surprise you! No screaming, no craziness, what next, no crap games in the corner for stolen chicken and watermelons? no tap-dancing by grinning pickaninnies for nickels? no bug-eyed expressions of terror when confronted by ghosts? Now, that's not the Harlem I know. At least, not the one I know based on films made in the 1930s. So, I can totally see how Bill lost his bearings. Black people behaving practickly like White people? What the fuckin' fuck, motherfucker? What's next, cats chasing dogs and horses riding men?

So, yeah, poor Bill is probably going to be pilloried by the femmo-homo-pinko-aborto-Liberals for this innocent observation. When all he's doing is speaking Truth to Power. Poor Bill. He's bouncing back on his next show, though, with an insightful report on how there are actually a few Latinos in this country who don't work as gardeners, sport gold front teeth, or talk like Speedy Gonzales' cousin, Slowpoke Rodriguez. Should be riveting.