Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Ask Not for Whom the Bell LOLs, Dept.

Here's something y'all can take to the bank, actually a two-fer:
1) every crap physical comedy released in the course of a summer will feature one retard's assertion that it's "laugh-out-loud funny!";
2) it won't be.

I was throwing out some newspapers today and came upon a full-page ad for Rush Hour 3. Sure enough, "Monica Jackson"--she's the morning news anchor at KVVU-TV/FOX and a woman well-versed in film criticism what with her previous gig as Morning Traffic Anchor in Greensboro, North Carolina--is quoted as saying this addition to the Chris Tucker oeuvre was, yes, "laugh-out-loud funny."

Now, your sobsister was forced to sit through the trailer for this, ummm, what's a nicer phrase for it than "repellent piece of shit"?...well, we'll call it a "film" for argument's sake, not once but twice. And I can state without fear of contradiction that it was most emphatically not "laugh-out-loud funny." It wasn't even smile-out-loud amusing. It was mostly grimace-out-loud annoying. I heard no laughing-out-loud from among the other assembled patrons either. What I could hear over the din of things crashing and breaking and flying on-screen. Not to mention the piquant verbal byplay that has come to characterize Tucker-Chan dialogue. The sort of thing one might expect Noël Coward to script if they dug him up and plunked his remains in front of a typewriter tomorrow.

So, yes. "Laugh-out-loud funny." Avoid it as you would outrages against your virtue, children. Avoid it as you would anything labelled "chocolatey". Because it won't be. Ever ever ever.


Anonymous said...

Where as I felt that it was the sort of thing one might expect Noël Coward to script if they'd dug him up, burned his remains then scattered them in front of a typewriter.

You musta liked the film more than I did.

the sobsister said...

The film?
I was repelled by the previews.

Anonymous said...

Oh yeah.. that's right.
Ya know, I have a feeling that I don't really pay enough attention to things.. for instance, that preview was on TV a kajillion times and I never paid any real attention to it.
Guess I deserved what I got.