Palin, Garbage Out, Dept.

Y'know, I haven't posted in a little bit. A cold and work and a bunch of other petty shit about which I could tug on your coattails ad infifuckingnitum. But I just wanted to say one li'l thing this cool Wednesday evening.

My incredulity in any viability at all of a vice-presidential bid by a person whose apparent qualifications for the post consist of a clear day's view of a U.S. rival, a working uterus and a belief system that involves rolling your eyes up into your head while babbling warga-warga in a church pew, beggars description, people. You might as well have tried to convince me two months ago that John McCain was going to select a half-eaten Domino's pizza for his running mate. Or a ball-peen hammer. Or the word "marzipan."

She's not a MILF. She's not a GILF. I can't imagine that anyone could even tolerate sharing an elevator for five flights with this nasal, ignorant harpy, much less convening sexual congress.

I'm starting my novena tonight. I'm asking God to let the National Enquirer find out exactly where the bodies are buried in Wasilla. I was going to ask that the upcoming Spirit movie not suck, but I'm sacrificing on everyone's behalf.

Thank you for your time and attention. In the saccharine phrase with which Red Skelton rotted my baby teeth, "Good night and may Gawd bless."
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Oh, oh, wait! I have a joke. I have a joke. Listen, here it is:

What's the difference between the Panama Canal and Sarah Palin?

One's an international waterway and the other's a dizzy bitch.

*ha ha!* Oh, laughter is the best medicine, isn't it?

Except for herpes. You can laugh your ass off, that shit ain't going away.
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Oh wait, wait! I remembered my other joke! I did! Listen, listen:

What's the difference between the Panama Canal and Sarah Palin?

One's a busy ditch and the other's an overreaching opportunist with little or no education, little or no culture, little or no sense, little or no experience and few or no scruples.

*ha ha!* It's all in the delivery, y'know? That half beat between "experience" and "and." It makes or breaks the fucking thing.

My name is the sobsister and I approved this message.