Letters, We Get Letters, Dept.
I've been reading stuff on the Internet, and it sounds like I have what they call "penis envy." I can't stop thinking about how great it would be if I had a penis. It would make my life heaven. I wake up each day and go to sleep each night wishing I had a penis, any size, wouldn't matter. What do you think I should do?
Inches Away in New Canaan
Medical science is making great strides, so your dreams may come true sooner than you think. And, by the way, good luck with that rally today, Mr. Beck.