Oh, Was That Your Dick in My Mouth?, Dept.

State lawmaker says he's a victim of extortion

Alright, people, this is getting old.

Married Republican lawmaker who has consistently opposed gay rights legislation engages in homo sex, gets busted, and denies he'd ever, ever make sweet, queer love with another man. Any new wrinkles this time around? Well, Richard Curtis, the GOP legislator in question, did try to throw a change-up by reportedly changing into long red women's stockings and a black sequined lingerie top at the Hollywood Erotic Boutique where he got the blue plate special from a thousand-dollar rent boy in an upstairs room, according to witnesses. So, a few originality points for Dick. None of this ho-hum "wide stance", did-he-didn't-he bullshit. Dickie-boy was gonna bust out queer and tranny and everything else he could think of. It should go without saying that the former firefighter declared, according to media reports, "I am not gay". Which, here in Bizarro-America, means: WOOO-hoo, sailor...I'm as queer as a clockwork orange!!

But, really, boys, stop already. This story is so mid-2007. I mean, the ladies-wear was a nice touch but "homophobe Republican legislator makes the beast with one back and four hairy legs, then denies homo longings"? Yaawwwn. Dog bites man. Film not at 11.

Call me when your station stops showing reruns, 'k? Thanks.